Second Chances
by Boscosbabe55
Summary: Ex SVU detective Brian Cassidy gets a second chance at life and his job
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't not own any of these characters. Also this is my very first Law and Order SVU fic, so please be kind. If you can't say something nice, then don't bother to say anything at all.  
  
I left Special Victims four years ago, and went to narcotics. Because I jus' - well I jus' couldn't do it. I couldn't make sense of the type of people who would commit those type of crimes. I still can't, but now those types of crimes have become personal.  
  
I was sitting at home watching ESPN when there was a knock at my door. I pulled myself off of my couch an' made my way to the door, opening it I saw the last two people I ever expected to see. Detectives Stabler an' Benson. I greeted them with a warm smile, but something made me realize this wasn't a visit of friends. There was something more to this visit. I felt a sickening knot form in the back of my throat. I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the feeling. But it was of no avail.  
  
"Cassidy.." Stabler said, his eyes serious.  
  
I looked towards Olivia Benson, her eyes seemed just as distance. Then I heard a familiar voice speak up an' call my name.  
  
"Brie..." I said hesitantly as both Benson and Stabler parted an' she stepped between them. Right away I knew. Right away I knew why they were there. "No.." I shook my head in denial. But the way Brie looked, her black and blue eye, her tear-streaked cheeks, that far off look in her eyes. I knew -exactly- why they were there.  
  
"B-Brie." my eyes fell on her as I pulled her into a hug. "God.... I'm sorry."  
  
"We did a kit, an' it came up positive for fluids, there was also server vaginal trauma." Stabler said to me. I held Brie close to me, my chin resting on her head as she sobbed. I was speechless.  
  
Olivia looked at me with apologetic eyes. "We thought maybe - maybe you could get her to tell you what happen. I know you're not with SVU anymore, but Cragen gave you permission, to take a statement. He figured she might feel more comfortable around you." She told me.  
  
Brie still sobbed against me, her small frame shaking as I rubbed circles in her back. "Yea, okay. I'll call you as soon as I can."  
  
"Take your time." Stabler said with a firm nod, as he handed me his card. "If you want you can even call me at home."  
  
"Thank You." I replied taking the card from him and closing the door. I pulled Brie out of the hug and looked into her fear filled eyes.  
  
"I tol' h-him - I tol' him to stop. I begged him." She cried. "It hurt -so- bad Brain, I was -so- scared, and I didn't know what to do."  
  
I bit my bottom lip, to keep back the anger I felt. To keep myself from wanting to leave right then an' there. An' find the bastard who did this to her. Find the bastard who raped my kid sista. But I couldn't 'cause right now she needed me to be there more then anything. "Brie, I'm gunna get him, I'm gunna get him an' make this okay. I promise you." I cupped her face in my hands, an' tried her tears with my thumbs, being gentle around her black eye. "I promise you, but you gotta tell me what happen okay. I need to know what exactly happened, so I can help you."  
  
She looked at me, her eyes filled with hurt, fear, anger, confusion. She wasn't 25 anymore, she was my little 8 year old sista who had a nightmare, an' was scared of the monsters under her bed. Only this time the monsters got to her.  
  
We were close as kids, despite the 8 year age difference. I looked out for her, I mean, that's what older brothers do? Right? But as we grew older things happened, and we grew apart. Way apart. We'd talk once in a while. She'd call me on my birthday, I'd call her on hers. On Christmas, an' Thanksgiving. They weren't long conversations. Jus' long enough to let each other know we were alive an' then we'd say goodbye an' that was that.  
  
But right now, I had to look past our differences an' be her brother. But also had to a cop. I wasn't sure if I could do both. I didn't know which one to be. She needed her brother, but I needed to be a cop to catch the sonofabitch that had done this to her. I hadda be both an' I hadda be both at the same time.  
  
I guided Brie to my couch handing her some tissues. It was chilly in the apartment, so I wrapped the NYPD blanket that lay on my couch around her. "You thirsty?"  
  
Looking down she shook her head.  
  
"Hungry?"  
  
Again she shook her head. "Brain, I jus' - I jus' wanna crawl into a ball an' die."  
  
I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself from crying as I heard her talk. As I felt her pain. I ran my hands down her arms starting from her shoulders, and stopping at her hands, as I took them into mine. "Brie, look at me."  
  
She slowly lifted her head up. "Please don' say that. I know you're feelin' like shit right now, an' I know you don' think things will ever get better. But they can an' they will an' no matter what. I'm here for you okay, ya jus' gotta trust me. Okay? Jus' trust me, lemme be your brother an' trust me." I begged her. "You gotta help me, help you. Okay?" My voice was soft, as I gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. "I love you okay."  
  
Her bottom lip quivered as she wrapped her arms around me crying, it wasn't talking. But we were making progress. I knew my sista better then she though. I knew we were making progress. 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I am not Tom Clancy and my Grammar sucks. I've tried betas and still had the same results, so just deal. Kay  
  
Before I had known it Brie fell asleep in my arms. After what she had been through I didn't have the heart to wake her. Sure I knew I needed to find out what happened. It was the only way I could help her, but I wasn't sure how much sleep she would be able to get. I wasn't sure what kind of nightmares she would have, but I was sure she would have them.  
  
Scooping her up into my arms I carried her from the couch to my bedroom. I lay her down on my bed, pulling the covers back then covering her, and tucking her in. Somethin' I hadn't done since she was ten. I kissed two of my fingers; my index and my middle finger, then gently touched her forehead. "Night squirt." I said softly.  
  
I was turning the lights off, and closing the door when I heard her call my name.  
  
"Bri..." She said in a whimper.  
  
I stopped "Hmmm?"  
  
"Would you stay with me?" She asked. I could sense the fear in her voice.  
  
A small, faint smile crossed my lips. "Sure, lemme go turn the TV off an' I'll be right back. Kay?"  
  
"Okay." She replied.  
  
I walked back into the living room turning the TV off, made sure the door was locked, an' then turned the lights off heading back into my room. I turned the light on for a moment so I could see my way to my bed.  
  
"Ahhhh bright." Brie cried out covering her eyes with her hands.  
  
"Sorry." I said. "I jus' didn't wanna trip over nothin'." I told her turning the light off, as I quickly hopped into the bed. Another thing I hadn't done since she was like ten.  
  
As my eyes adjusted to the lack of light in the room I looked over at my sister. "Night squirt." I said biting my lip. I was about to break down into tears knowing how someone had hurt my sister. How badly they had hurt her. How they had done the unthinkable.  
  
"Night." She said grabbing my head and holding it tight.  
  
It was a while before I fell asleep. I wanted to make sure Brie was sound to sleep before I fell asleep myself, once I knew she was. I did my best to try and drift off to sleep. I wasn't having a good time with it. I wanted to go out there and rip this pricks balls off, and shove them down his throat. But I still didn't know who he was, but I was sure he couldn't hide from me too long.  
  
It was morning before I knew it; the bright sunlight was shinning through the window blinds. I groaned and pulled the pillow over my face, blocking the incoming light. Stretching my hand out I felt hair - female hair. I quickly sat up and looked over. Then I remembered; Brie.  
  
She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Brian you okay?" She asked looking at me she quickly frowned. "Ow.... My ribs. Fuck!"  
  
"Yeah fine." I noticed the look on her face, and then when she said something about the pain a look of concern grew on my face. "Brie... did they give you anythin' for the pain. When you were at the hospital?"  
  
She nodded holding her side; I could see she was trying to hide the pain.  
  
"Well... Where is it?" I asked.  
  
"My p-purse." She replied. "It's still in the livin' room."  
  
I nodded in reply. "Okay, stay here. I'll go get it. Okay?"  
  
"Yea, okay." She responded, cursing to herself.  
  
I came back with her purse and a bottle of water as quick as I could hand them to her. She quickly took both from me, fishing through her black purse, with a skull and cross bones on it. Pulling out a small amber colored bottle. The familiar sound of pills rattling around, as she popped the top off, spilling one into her hand, popping it into her mouth, washing it down with the bottled water.  
  
"I gotta use the bathroom." She said, getting up. She stood to her feet gingerly, then slowly making her way towards the bathroom.  
  
I sat in silence for a few minuets before finally getting up and heading into the kitchen. "You want some pancakes squirt?" I asked walking through the hallways, I stopped by the bathroom door it was open just enough that I could see in. I saw her looking at her severely bruised ribs; I couldn't help but to gasp at the site.  
  
She quickly turned to me. "Brian!" She hissed.  
  
"I'm sorry, I - I... I didn't mean too." I said apologetically.  
  
"Listen I'll be out in a minuet, okay. Jus' gimme sometime?"  
  
"Time... right. Sure. You want pancakes?" I asked her my mind still focused on her bruised ribs.  
  
"Yea, sure pancakes sound good. I'll be out in a few." She said closing the door shut and locking it.  
  
"An' were talkin' today. I need to know what happened." I said walking into the kitchen.  
  
"Can't wait." She muttered.  
  
A few minuets later Brie finally made her way into the kitchen, she sniffed a few times and made a face.  
  
Somethin' wrong?" I asked her shoving a few pancakes on to a plate, along side some sausage links.  
  
"Yea, I don' smell smoke... an' there's no fire. Didja finally learn how to cook?" She asked.  
  
"Oh haha!" I replied putting a plate down in front of her as she sat at the table.  
  
"Yeah you almost burned the house down that one time. You only making grilled cheese." She said slowly cutting up her pancakes.  
  
"I was 15." I tried to defend myself.  
  
"Oh - an' that's reason to burn the house down?" She asked shoving some pancake into her mouth.  
  
"Hey it's good enough reason for me." I replied, sitting down with my plate.  
  
I watched Brie push her food around her plate some, before pushing it aside. "Hey I thought you said they were good?"  
  
"They are, its jus' - well I really ain't all that hungry." She replied.  
  
I sighed watching her for a few minuets. I knew she was hurting, but I didn't know just how much, and I wasn't sure if I could get her to open up. Get her to trust me. "Brie? Please talk to me?"  
  
She looked up with tears in her eyes. "Brian, I dunno. I dunno if I can." She said in a whimper.  
  
"But I'm your brother." I said trying my best to reason with her, also reassure her.  
  
"Who I haven't had a serious conversation with in like 9 years." She replied harshly.  
  
"Can we jus' not think 'bout that, Jus' for now. Brie I can't help you, I can't make the hurt go away if you don' talk to me. If you don' tell me what happened."  
  
She bit her bottom lip as it quivered. "Brian please... I can't."  
  
"You can an' you haveta. Please. Brie, I'm beggin' you." My eyes plead with her; I know it's hard for her. But I also know if she doesn't tell me it could only get worse.  
  
Tears roll down her face. "I was - I was walkin' home from the store." She began. "I wasn't that far from home an' outta no where this guy, he grabs me, he pulls me into an alley." Her eyes a red with tears now, I almost regret asking her what happened seeing how much she's hurting, but it's my job. "He put a gun to my head, tol' me to do everythin' he says. I thought he was gunna kill me."  
  
I listen closely, I should be writing this down, not storing it in the back of my head. For now, the back of my head is better then nowhere. I give her a firm nod, letting her know it's okay to continue.  
  
"Next thin' I know I feel him unzippin' my pants, I knew what was comin'. I begged him not to, but he didn't listen. He pull 'em down 'round my ankles, threw me to the ground, pull 'em off - an' he - he got inside me." She said chocking over tears.  
  
"It's all right Brie, it's all right." I told her walking to her side and pulling her into a hug, letting her cry on my shoulder.  
  
"Brian, it hurt so bad. It really did. He called me a slut, he said girls like me, like this kinda stuff." She sobbed. "I'm not a slut - I'm not!" Brie protested. "I'm - I was - I was a virgin."  
  
I could just feel my blood boiling. I clenched my fists tightly hearing her speak. Chills rolled down my spine. Not only did this prick rape her, but also he took her virginity away. Something she could never get back. I hugged her tighter, not knowing what else to do. I could tell her I was sorry a million times. A million and one, but it would never be enough. There were no words for what had happen.  
  
Breaking the hug I looked her in her eyes, drying her tears with my thumbs. "Brie," I started. "You think if I went with you, you could tell Detectives Stabler an' Benson what happen?" I asked her.  
  
There was a long pregnant pause before finally spoke. "I - I can try." She said in a whisper.  
  
"Please? For me?" I asked her.  
  
"Like I said Brian I can try - I-I can't promise you nothin'." She said still sobbing.  
  
"Tryin' is better then nothin' at all." I told her.  
  
"Brain..." Tears started falling again. "Brain, I'm sorry.... I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry for everythin' I've ever done. But right now, I need you. I need my brother, please don' leave me."  
  
"No - no." I said. "It's not your fault, I was the asshole, and it's not your fault Brie. Okay? You got it? You didn't do anythin' -"  
  
She cut me off. "But I-"  
  
"You did nothin'. Listen we'll talk 'bout it later okay, an' I'm not goin' anywhere at all. Okay. I promise you."  
  
She only nodded in reply.  
  
"C'mon." I said taking her hand. "I'll take you to talk to Stabler an' Benson. They'll help you; we'll get this guy. Okay."  
  
I meant it too. I meant every word I said. I knew that if anyone could catch this asshole, they could. With the help of my old partner Munch, all four of us, could bring down the bastard. 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Still don't own them  
  
I looked up as Benson walked out. "Did she say anythin'?" I asked and quickly stood up.  
  
"We think she may have known her attacker." Benson replied and then placed some change into the soda machine.  
  
"Why? Did she say she knew him?" I shoved my hands into my pockets and began to pace like an expectant father.  
  
"Not in so many words. She claimed the voice, his voice, was familiar. But that doesn't mean anythin'. She could have been so scared it seemed that way. We're still waitin' on DNA results. I have a counselor lined up to talk to her. The sooner the better. She keeps saying she won't do it. I was hoping you could convince her." She poured some coffee and added a few spoons of sugar. "It might help her."  
  
"Well she's kinda stubborn like that. She's pretty thick headed."  
  
Olivia looked at me and smirked. "Obviously the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."  
  
"What's that suppose to mean?" I hardened my brow.  
  
"Oh come on Brian, you couldn't accept the fact I turned you down. That it wasn't more then a one nightstand." She sipped at the coffee. "Denial isn't jus' a river in Egypt."  
  
"Are you sayin' I couldn't accept the fact you used me?"  
  
"I think that's exactly what I'm sayin'." Olivia licked her chapped lips.  
  
"Well I didn't want anymore then that." I confessed. Okay I was lying. I did want more. I was hurt. I liked her. She was smart, cunning, good looks, great in bed. She was everything a guy wanted, and then some.  
  
"How 'bout we discuss this at a later date, I need to get back in there see if we can get anywhere with her." She started towards the interrogation room. "An' Brain, she's definitely your sister."  
  
"Yeah." I voiced to myself. I watched as Olivia disappeared behind the door, and into the interrogation room, I sat down behind a desk. I buried my head into my hands. Of course Brie didn't want to talk to anyone. She never did. She never admitted to anyone that she needed help. She was always there helping others, but never gave herself any thought. She had this way of bottling her true emotions and feelings up. In some small bottle hidden deep beneath her, then when you would least expect it. Bam; just like a ticking time bomb. She would blow. Erupting like Mount Vesbius. Maybe her habit of bottling everything up and not talking is what kept us apart. Kept us from not talking for all these years.  
  
I'd be damned if I was going to let that happen this time. I wasn't going to let Brie go through everything by herself. It wasn't going to be easy to get her to open up but I -was- going to get her to open up. Even if it did take me forever. I lost my relationship with her once. If I was going to get her back, I was letting go of her this time.  
  
"Hope your aren't thinkin' -too- hard." A voice from behind me came. I turned standing up and a smile crossed my lips as I extended my hand. "Munch..."  
  
He shook my hand. "Long time no see huh buddy?" He let go of my hand, adjusting his glasses on the brim of his nose. "Heard what happened. Sorry 'bout that man. She doin' okay?"  
  
My smile quickly turned to a frown when Munch mentioned my sister. "She's in there with Stabler an' Benson right now. She seems okay - from the outside. I know inside she's dyin'." I bit my bottom lip. "Last night when Benson an' Stabler came to my door, I knew. I didn't haveta hear her voice. I already knew. Right away I felt a rage like I never felt before. It was like a wildfire burnin' in my insides." I clenched my fists at my sides. "I wanted to go out there an' find that bastard, rip his balls off, and shove 'em right back down his fuckin' throat."  
  
Munch nodded his head in reply. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. "Sounds 'bout right. Who wouldn't want to do that? If she were my sister an' some bastard did that to her, I'd find somethin' much worse then what you jus' said."  
  
I questioned Munch for a moment. How can it get much worse then having one's balls ripped off, and then shoved down his throat? I mean if someone did that to me, I know it couldn't get much worse then that.  
  
"Trust me." Munch scratched his ear. "It -can- get much worse then that. I won't go into details."  
  
"When she was kid, like 10. Some schoolyard bully was beatin' her up. She was a shy kid, believe it or not. So she had this stutter. Kids were always picking on her, callin' her dummy, retard, you know typical names. This one boy. Billy Larson, he pushed her off the monkey bars. Said retards couldn't play on them. She ended up breaking her arm in the fall." I shook my head in frustration as I recalled the event. "I was -so- mad. Not at him, but at myself., for not bein' there. For not bein' able to stop it before I happened. I knew for a fact. That little Billy Larson would never call that in front of me. If he did. I'd have killed the asshole." I kicked a trashcan, causing those around me to jump. "That's how I feel right now. I'm so mad at myself for not bein' there. For not protectin' her. I'm her older brother. It's my job to protect her. How the hell can I protect people in the city when I can't even protect my baby sister?"  
  
"We can't always be everywhere. Life doesn't work like that. We can only take things one step at a time." Munch replied.  
  
"I know no one should haveta go through somethin' like that. But you know why her? Why of all people did it haveta be Brie? What'd she ever do to anyone?"  
  
Munch looked at me. "Bad stuff often happens to good people for no reason at all. That's what makes this world so twisted and cruel. No matter how hard we try to protect the ones we love. We can't save them from all the bad. We can't protect them from all the monsters I the world. Sure we'd like too, but it just isn't possible. My mother always said what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger."  
  
"I'm sure Brie would much rather be dead at the moment, then using this to grow stronger." I said harshly to Munch. A little more harshly then I wished I had. But I was angry, and I vented on him. On someone who didn't deserve it. Lucky for me though, Munch knew it wasn't the "real" me.  
  
"So this, you an' Brie not talkin' thing, how long did it last?" Munch asked, in an attempt to make small talk with me.  
  
"Too long." That was the truth. Ten years to long.  
  
"One of those big brother ripped the head off or baby sisters Barbie doll or somethin'?" He ran his finger under his nose to wipe away the sweat that had formed on the top of his lip.  
  
"Or somethin'." I replied staring down at the floor. In fact I don't know -exactly- where it went wrong. We just seemed to drift apart, next thing I know I'm telling her to drop dead and she never spoke to me again. Of course I never meant a single word of it. I was mad, upset. Actually I was pissed that I had found out my fiancé had cheated on me. Brie just happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time.  
  
"Well whatever it is, you two have obviously worked past it." He replies.  
  
I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't sure if we were past it. I hoped so. "Well if it's not. I think now would be a good time, to fix whatever went wrong."  
  
I know that now would be a good time. Now would be the best time. If only Brie lets me. If she lets me in. If not, I'm going to have to do whatever I can.  
  
I looked up at Munch. "Think Cragen will let me in? You know back on SVU?" I questioned him. I was serious too. I wanted back in, at least for this, maybe even permanently. To bring down the asshole who raped my sister. Maybe some good, could actually come out of this. Maybe some how I could help other girls like Brie. My first tour in SVU hadn't worked, but this time I had motivation. This time I had a reason. Brie.  
  
There was a long pregnant pause before he answered. "I don't know. You'll haveta take that up with Cragen." He rubbed his lips together. "You sure you'd want that? I mean, that is if he says yes."  
  
I nodded. "Positive."  
  
"I'll give him a heads up for you. See what he thinks 'bout the idea. Like I said. It's only a heads up. You haveta do the rest."  
  
Before I can answer him, the door opened and Brie walked out with Benson and Stabler behind her. From the looks on their faces, I could tell that they didn't find out much. She hadn't given them much. Hopefully the DNA results would lead to something. If not that, then maybe something else would break.  
  
I walked to my sister and wrapped one arm around her as I pulled her in. My eyes met Olivia's. I waited for an answer. I needed to make sense of all this madness.  
  
She didn't have to talk; her body language said it all. Nothing. They knew absolutely nothing. "We'll call you if something comes up." She handed me a piece of paper, written on it is a name of a rape crisis counselor. Someone for Brie to, hopefully talk to. I studied the name for a moment, before stuffing it into my pocket.  
  
"She'll be expectin' your call." Olivia said, as she threw away her Styrofoam cup.  
  
"Thanks." I nodded in approval. "I'll - we'll call her as soon as we get home." I pulled Brie in a little closer, pushing some of her vivid strawberry-blonde hair out of her face.  
  
"I said I wasn't talkin' to no one." She bellowed, obvious anger behind it.  
  
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at the same time. "Of course not." I look at Benson and Stabler. "Thanks 'gain. For everythin'."  
  
"Anytime." Elliot extended my hand in a thankful handshake. "If she remembers anythin' night or day. Call us, or have her call us."  
  
"Brie, honey?" Olivia looks into her scared green eyes. "Do you have a friend you can stay with, or someone who can stay with you for a while."  
  
"She's goin' to stay with me for now. At least until this asshole who did this to her if off the streets." I looked down at my sister.  
  
"I don' haveta if you don' want me too, Bri." She looked up at me. "I do have friends."  
  
"I'm sure you do, but I rather have you stay with me. Okay? For once, don' argue with me. Jus' do as I say.  
  
She let out a loud annoyed sigh. "Fine, whatever, jus' don' bother me." She said.  
  
"Would'nt dare think of it. C'mon lets get somethin' to eat." I said, escorting Brie towards the door. "Hey Munch?"  
  
He lifted his head from a pile of papers.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Remember what I said." He said, placing the papers on the desk along side him. "You haveta do the rest."  
  
"I know, I'll call him tonight." I told him before finally exiting.  
  
"You okay?" I ask her as we finally step outside.  
  
She shrugs in reply. "I wish everyone would stop askin' me that."  
  
"Well what do you want me to ask?"  
  
"Anythin' but that." She replied.  
  
I get to my car and unlock the door then open it for her. Standing with her for a moment.  
  
"What?" She hisses.  
  
I shake my head waiting for her to get in. "Nothin'." I wish you'd jus' talk already. Jus' talk to me. Tell me what your feelin'. I -hate- seein' you like this kiddo. "Any idea of where you wanna eat at?"  
  
"I'm really not that hungry Brian, so where ever." She rolls a ring around her finger.  
  
Pulling away from the precinct and heading towards my favorite diner, I watch her for a few minuets. She was quiet the whole time, her eyes glued on the world outside. A watch as a lone tear leaks down her cheek. She quickly reaches up and dries it.  
  
I slammed on the breaks, the car jolting as we stop. "Brie Ann Cassidy!" I yelled. I didn't mean too but seeing her cry like that scared me so damn much, it was how I reacted.  
  
She turns a few more tears falling, again she dries them. "W-what?" She chokes out.  
  
"Talk to me." My eyes soften on her. "Please. I wanna help you, an' I can't until you talk."  
  
She shakes her head.  
  
"I'm your brother Brie, you gotta lemme help. I'm not a stranger. I'm not Benson or Stabler. I'm family."  
  
"I know." She sobs. "Brain I jus' can't. Goin' through it once was enough, I - I can't do it 'gain. Not yet. I jus' can't. I don' have the strength."  
  
I start driving again. "Then lemme would'ja at least lemme be there for you, when you find the strength?" I feel pretty stupid asking her. I know I should be asking her to tell me everything right now. Making her open up, but I just can't.  
  
She thinks for a few moments then finally nods her head. "Yeah, I think I can do that."  
  
Now we were getting somewhere. I reached over taking her hand into mine, kissing the back of her hand. "Thanks." She wasn't telling me yet, but if she was willing to let me be there for her, then I knew she would be willing to eventually open up to me. 


End file.
